Zack Ryder: Too cool for school or overconfident fool?

I was going to say that Zack Ryder has yet to be used on television since his drafting to ECW, but I have got a chance to see him this past week in a bit of a squash match, and I have to tell you, he was quite impressive.....athletically. I've always known he was impressive athletically. However, his gimmick is something I don't particularly care for. He wears his sunglasses "at night", and in this case, indoors. He's got tights that are reminiscent to Hardbody Harrison. His haircut resembles to that star of the viral video, "my new haircut" (in my opinion, he looks like a cross between Gob Bluth and Scotty 2 Hotty). Lastly, his catchphrase is very, very, VERY, annoying. "Woo woo woo, you know it"?! If you're not Martin Lawrence, you shouldn't be saying anything close to this. Yet, I bet you this gimmick will flourish, through the method of having it shoved down our throats, despite our distaste for it. But before I gripe away, I have to mention just how it all started for Zack Ryder.

This time, I don't thank Wikipedia because it doesn't have the whole story. First off, Zack Ryder's real name is Matt Cardona. For the majority of his career, he worked the independents with his long-time partner Brian Myers (whom we know as Curt Hawkins). They both came from Long Island and worked the local circuits, which notably included Jersey All Pro Wrestling. They teamed with Steve Corino and assisted his feud with Jay Lethal. After that short stint, they worked the indies some more, until they were called up to the WWE farm systems of OVW, and then FCW. They then changed their gimmick to the Major Brothers, Brett and Brian. They were then brought up to Smackdown with this gimmick. Sadly, they didn't really catch on, and word got out in a creative meeting that they really weren't brothers. So, they were revamped, retooled, and re-focused as the duo of Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder, Edge's biggest fans. They went on to assist Edge in winning matches as well as secure the WWE tag titles. After they lost the belts, they fell by the wayside, losing matches left and right, and then, Ryder was drafted to ECW, and the rest is history.

I look at Ryder's gimmick, and my assessment of it is this: he's the embodiment of the trends of the last 20 or so years. He's got the neon colors of the 80s, the wrestling gear, sunglasses, and catchphrase of the 90s, and the haircut of both eras combined with that video. The thing is, these trends are either annoying, became annoying, or will be annoying. It gives you a reason to hate him even more. It's veritably annoying, to say the least. But, I have to give credit to this idea as it is original. Who else can say they resemble everything that was corny about those years and actually make it work? In fact, after his squash match, I can say it can work. He hit two very impressive maneuvers to finish the match, although we have seen the moves before, but it has been a while. It shows that Ryder has a great amount of ability and talent, which brings me two my biggest gripes about Ryder.

One gripe is this: as talented as Ryder is, I don't see him going very far with it. His gimmick, as annoying as it is, seems only capable of drawing bad heat. I don't see people responding to his negative actions, or anything he does, particularly. He could become as unappealing as Ricky Ortiz started to get on ECW, or as forgettable as D.J. Gabriel. Could it be that the fans just don't know what to make of his gimmick and can't quite react to it? Or is it the fact that the fans do know what to make of it and find his gimmick completely unappealing? Whatever the case may be, after seeing him win a match, and hearing the new initiative to make new stars, we'll be seeing more of Zack Ryder and his antics, and the fans will decide if they want to see more or not.

The other gripe I have, which is my biggest one is this: they are pushing Ryder over Hawkins, which wasn't really necessary because a) Hawkins is just as talented and b) they were a talented tag team. While tagging up, we were treated to seeing Hawkins getting the victories with innovative moves while Ryder is taking the losses, getting squashed hideously. I'm sorry, but why is the latter getting pushed separately? A dumb catchphrase? A stupid look? Or is it the fact that he's just showing initiative to get himself over? Still doesn't make it right, but that's not too much to gripe over.

The problem here lies with the dissolution of the tag team. For the third straight year after Wrestlemania, the WWE goes from exhibiting some interest in tag action to completely shoving it down the waste chute within a month or two of the initiative. They made the Hardys the tag champs in 2007, after a rousing multi-tag team battle royal. We all thought more teams would be made and a division would be made. Instead, we get two brands with little or no tag wrestling, a severe loss of talent and teams, and a few spots of greatness (London and Kendrick, and the start of the Miz and Morrison era). In 2008, we got a chock full of tag matches on the Raw after Wrestlemania 24, only to have 2 to 3 key tag teams dissolve within a span of 3 months. We lost Cade and Murdoch almost instantly to problems they had on-screen, we lost London and Kendrick to the draft, we lost Deuce and Domino the same way, and the Highlanders to backstage problems and injuries. Now, it's 2009. The tag belts are unified by the Colons over Miz and Morrison on a match that was publicized for Wrestlemania 25, but then demoted to a dark match on that card. As they had a rematch on Raw, the draft was mentioned and the results are in. Miz and Morrison are split up, Jesse and Festus are split up, Hawkins and Ryder are split up, and the Colons and Cryme Tyme are placed on separate brands, with a rule going out that no inter-promotional matches will be had. Once again, the tag divisions are thrown under the bus, along with a few good careers, which include Hawkins and not Ryder's. My thing is this: why even bother with a tag division if you keep building it up to destroy it? Short-sighted nonsense like this takes the credibility away from an organization. And because of this, Curt Hawkins is probably the next wrestler to be shown the "Revolving door of releases".

So, Zack Ryder, the newest ECW addition, is here. His gimmick looks ridiculous and his partner was left for dead, but we have to look for greater things. Zack Ryder is now the embodiment of the fads we grew up with and now look as annoying. It doesn't matter that a lot of things were sacrificed for this, like the tag divisions, Curt Hawkins, and some precious air time. As long as Ryder has a platform to be annoying for our pleasure, we should be fortunate. He's a very talented individual, don't get me wrong, and I really think he's destined for great things. But, I don't know how great it's going to be with this idea or how much has to be done to make him appealing. I mean, if ECW couldn't truly get Ricky Ortiz or DJ Gabriel over, what chance does Ryder have? In all honesty, I don't really know. It doesn't really look great for him, in my view. The future isn't looking too bright enough for Zack Ryder to wear shades. So maybe, he should lose them, evaluate his career, or at least take the chance to make himself a big star with what he's given and really, really hope that he gets over. Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. Maybe I'm spending too much time analyzing it. I don't know. All I know is that he's on his own, and I don't think there's much else to sacrifice for him to get anywhere now. Actually, there might be. Anyone know of any annoying past or present trends that are worth milking to our discontent? The Macarena? The Running Man? Maybe a "Saved by the Bell" reference for Zack Ryder? Hey, they've got A.C. Slater...I mean, Ricky Ortiz, they've got a Kelly in Kelly Kelly. It shouldn't be too hard, right?