The Colin Delaney Conundrum

Colin Delaney. Remember that guy? Of course you do! He's the wrestler that Vince McMahon payed a good sum of money to in order for him to get obliterated on national television. Almost every week, this kid was getting stomped out by a random ECW star or non-ECW star. It was so bad that even perennial loser, Tommy Dreamer, took him under his wing and proceeded to lose alongside him. Finally, Colin won his first singles match against the then-ECW GM, Armando Alejandro Estrada. What came of it? A few choice wins here and there, a few nasty losses here and there, a heel turn against Dreamer and then two key losses to Tommy Dreamer and Matt Hardy. He was then subsequently fired. What a "Cinderella Story", eh? Colin got to live out his dream of being a WWE star, got some great paydays out of it, and was only employed for, I don't know, 8 to 10 months, maybe less. Pretty sweet, huh? Well, yes, but there are a few sour points that I'd like to point out.

Colin Delaney, to his credit, took some mean beatings, no doubt about that. He was pasty, wimpy, low on confidence, and lacking in self-esteem as we were lead to believe. Yet, he kept coming back for more, beating after beating. Now, we all know that people love to cheer for the underdog. It's just something that is in most of us. We want to see the unlucky get lucky. We want to feel good about how much hard work is put into trying to get that elusive victory. It gives us hope to keep right on trying. So, what's so sour about this whole aspect? Delaney finally got his chance and succeeded at it. But, instead of being given numerous opportunities like many of the other underdogs that have passed through the WWE that either do or don't have as much talent as he, he only got to show it in less than a year. Another sour point is the fact that, even though this story has been done before, the star or stars that have been involved, I'm more than sure, have gotten much further than he has, which I think, stinks.

Let's get one thing straight: Colin Delaney is no ordinary walk-on scrub. You see, he, just like C.M. Punk and Evan Bourne (a.k.a. Matt Sydal), came from the independent circuit with a lot of talent to throw around. Delaney made his career known through the organization, CHIKARA. It's an indy-fed that's pretty silly with the goofball gimmicks they put together and storylines as well. But, beyond that, you've got some of the most talented wrestlers around, breaking their backs for the fans. Colin was doing just that until the WWE called him up to wrestle with them. They needed a small, scrawny-looking wrestler to fit the bill of a wrestler who always lost. The rest is history, I suppose. But, the inherent problem with this situation is that one's abilities can be overshadowed dramatically because of the role they have to play. Colin's abilities were overshadowed. Yet, this wasn't the case before in earlier times with other wrestlers.

It was 1993. Monday Night Raw was taking place in the Manhattan Center's grand ballroom as a wrestler known as "The Kid" was fighting for the third straight week against insurmountable odds. First, Doink beat him pretty badly, ruining his chances at being known as a "Lightning" Kid. Then, Mr. Hughes literally ran right through him, eliminating the chance of being considered a "Kamikaze" Kid (although when you think about it, it was probably better that way). Then, in comes Razor Ramon. Razor cleans his clock for the most part and then suddenly, the unthinkable happens: the Kid gets the win via a moonsault from off the top rope. When I saw this, I was shocked, surprised, and very excited. For once, the jobber got the win. For once, the little guy who looked like a decent wrestler got a break. This was an amazing thing to me, as I'm so used to seeing these guys lose. Then, suddenly, the loser is the winner. Since then, many things happened for "The Kid". He changed his name to the "1-2-3 Kid". He won the World Tag titles twice. He befriended Razor Ramon as Ramon respected the kid's talent. Behind the scenes, they were even closer as friends, as they helped make up "the Kliq", a wrestling crew headed by Shawn Michaels to help show unity between some of the top stars in the WWE at the time. He went heel, joined the Million Dollar Man's stable, went to WCW to join the n.W.o as Syxx, won the U.S. title and the Cruiserweight title there, returned to the WWE as X-pac to join D-X, won the European title, won the World tag belts again, formed his own faction, rejoined the n.W.o when they debuted in the WWE, formed his own faction, and then subsequently left the WWE when all came to an end. Quite a career, huh?

Now, Colin's no "1-2-3 Kid". We can be sure of that. But, he was at least making the necessary moves to actually come out as a competent wrestler. He even started to attempt to use the springboard cutter which was known as the Acid Drop or the Dudley Dog. Guess who started using it? Yes, perennial underdog Spike Dudley, who just like Colin, found himself fighting guys three times his size. However, Spike found ways to survive and even win while in ECW as well as the WWE. That finisher of his was a good way to start as it worked on a number of occasions. So, I figured that Colin would take a page from this playbook and do the exact same things or such, since he was on ECW. Alas, that wouldn't be the case. He was starting to try to make himself a competent wrestler, but no. Vince and the gang just found it to be much more entertaining watching him get his clock cleaned, not to mention the fact that they figured they didn't want anymore underdog stories to be told, a la "The 1-2-3 Kid" or Spike Dudley.

Creatively, would this have been a good idea? Would it have been a smart move to make Colin some sort of underdog making his way to the top, winning here and there, and losing here and there? In all honesty, in my personal opinion, absolutely. One, there are probably a lot of young fans who don't even know the circumstances behind the 1993 story of the "1-2-3 Kid", so like most things in wrestling, the cycle can start anew with a different wrestler. It made for an interesting story then, and can make for one now. Two, as time passed, we would see just how talented Delaney was from his time in CHIKARA, making us all believe that he always had it in him, but he never had the confidence to get it done since he was fighting a lot of guys bigger than him. He'd be gaining that confidence slowly and surely with every win. Three, if he went heel or stayed face, I think his strengths could still be well-utilized as a wrestler being mentored by another star. He could have stayed with Tommy Dreamer, or joined up with Stevie Richards and became this inspirational duo looking to dedicate themselves to winning. Or, if heel, he could have joined Gavin Spears and learned how to be a real shifty or dirty player from this former poker dealer. Here's one that just came to me: he would look up to a certain heel wrestler for his confidence and skill. He'd probably ask this wrestler to help him get a little better at the game as he helped this wrestler do his thing by, maybe carrying his bags, massaging his ego, or even carrying his belt. If you don't know by now, I'm talking about Jack Swagger. The fourth and final point is this: if he stayed face and wrestled with a few wins under him, finding ways to win when he could, the fans would love it. Well, the young fans would. It would be a sign to them that they should never give up. They should never stop trying. If they work hard, they can accomplish anything, no matter how big or small. Yea, it's sappy, but inspirational, which is money to a young fan, in my book.

So, why did I spend this precious time talking about Colin Delaney? I just can't stand to see wasted talent in pro wrestling. He was a good hand who could have done so much with his career if they just allowed the creative juices to flow. For some reason, the writers and producers didn't want another repeat of what happened in 1993. However, they failed to realize that it would have been incredibly helpful to them if they just showed the right initiative and even proper planning. You think the kids wouldn't want to cheer for Delaney because he's trying so hard? And when he does get that victory, don't you think they'd want to see him try harder to get another good win under his belt? Yes, this might seem a bit far-fetched as he was booked to look like, sound like, and even act like a total loser, but I've seen losers like Delaney reap the benefits on a number of occasions. If that wasn't true, then Funaki wouldn't be getting a second chance at a career as Kung Fu Naki, Scotty 2 Hotty would not have lasted in the WWE outside the Attitude era as long as he did, and Eugene would not have been a tag champion on Raw. So, why not Colin? Is it because he's just an outsider looking in? Is it because it's an old idea that was done before, like so many other old ideas done before that have been re-hashed? Or is it because the creative teams are just too lazy to try and put together something, especially on a brand no one really cares about?

Sadly, we may never know the reason as Colin Delaney has been fired and no word has come about of his return, or ever will. I guess when it comes to certain things like underdog stories, it's just more logical to see them lose miserably than win sporadically. Yet, with all the fluke victories I've been seeing in the WWE as of late, I still don't see why the talented have to keep losing while the untalented keep winning. Maybe I'm just not with it. Or maybe, that's just another conundrum that's worth considering......nope I better not. I've tried a number of times to work it and I can't stand the brain cramps anymore. They've started to hurt more than Colin's WWE career, which says a lot. I guess I'll just stick with easier things to ponder like 4th dimensional travel or the exact number of Pi. Much easier...