Christian: Captain Charisma and his lackluster crew

If you don't know by now, Christian is a member of the ECW brand, after making his triumphant, yet bland, return a few weeks ago. I say bland because of not just Todd Grisham's reaction (where's the enthusiasm, you hack?), but also of WWE's handling of the situation. No vignettes, no commercials, nothing. He just shows up to interrupt Jack Swagger one day to declare his return and his need for the ECW title. Whoopee! That's a real step up for the returning Christian, right? Some say that this is a blessing for him, while others a curse. Me? It' s a little of both in my book, with the situation out of balance in the wrong direction.

How is this a blessing for Christian? He has a chance to headline a brand...by himself....for the very first time. There's no major players that are going to trip him up and make him look inferior. He has his talents, his peeps, and his charisma to captain the S.S. ECW for himself and others. This proves to be better than have him be in a makeshift feud with someone even remotely popular on the rise. I don't see Christian surviving that exchange. Throw in an actual major title to hunt, and Christian on ECW ain't half bad.

How is this a curse? He goes from main-eventing a rival promotion's PPVs to main-eventing the #3 brand the WWE has to offer. Christian has no protection on that end. He had someone in TNA start him up (Scott D'Amore) , but once that person disappeared, Christian's star power disappeared. Then, he was just another working grunt with nothing special about him, whatsoever. After some months and even a year of the same old nonsense, Christian figured he was better off making money back in the WWE in an attempt to have a better living for himself and his family. So, off he went to the WWE. What did he get for his trouble when he returned? A spot on the lowliest of the brands with the lowliest of the wrestlers. It's no different than being made captain of a river barge than a submarine or something. Now, that's what I call getting cursed. The only thing is this: the curse is two-fold.

First, let's look at the lackluster crew our captain of charisma has to work with. He's got an ECW original in Tommy Dreamer who hasn't won a major match in years, if not months. He's got Finlay whose only claim to fame is fathering a midget who has worn out his "Mini-Me" mentality. He's got a freakish wrestler in The Boogeyman that, despite his unorthodox wrestling ways, can still be beaten by someone who even remotely finds him scary. He's got the Miz and Morrison, who are a few choice wins away from abandoning ship for greener pastures. He's got the powerhouse, Mark Henry, that seems more like a weighted anchor because of his limited success rather than forward progress. Lastly, he's got a plethora of new wrestlers on deck that have enough talent to get them off the show (Evan Bourne, D.J. Gabriel, Tyson Kidd who will be spoken of on the first week of March), a little talent to even get noticed (Ricky Ortiz), or no talent whatsoever because they are still new or are new with nothing to show for it (Gavin Spears, Braden Walker). Not the best crew to be working with, I gather. In fact, Christian might very well ask himself the question I posed at the end of my "Team Extreme" analysis about who he'd want on his team ultimately when it came to making waves. I bet you I'd know who he'd choose. Then again, I could be wrong, but that's why a guess is a guess.

Secondly, the curse Christian has to endure is the curse of being underrated. How is this so? Allow me to articulate this point. I have just discovered that Smackdown head writer Michael Hayes wanted Christian to be the one who has been assaulting Jeff Hardy. However, since this plan was exposed by way of the Internet, its shock value was gone, leaving Vince very mad and eager to change the direction of that specific storyline. This put both Hayes and Christian at a loss. While Hayes is bouncing back with another possible candidate for the assault (Matt Hardy), Christian fell further downward into obscurity as Vince McMahon once again put the screws to him by placing him on ECW. This was due to a few things. Vince will punish whomever competes against him for as long as he wants as a sign of their paying dues for the company. So, Christian is paying some dues right now, but he's also being saddled with a harsh reality in doing so. Vince, once again, is seeing Christian as an uneventful wrestler with no magic to him. He once said Christian had the worst head-shots (photos) he has ever seen. Yet, Christian became an overnight sensation of sorts regardless of his opinion. Has that opinion changed in Vince's view? No. Now, Christian will be paying for it as time continues as Vince sees fit. Sucks to be underrated, as Christian is now fully where Matt Hardy was before his scarring heel turn.

So, it looks like Christian will be captaining this river barge known as ECW whether he likes it or not. If he's drafted elsewhere, the barge might very well sink to the bottom of the ocean of failed experiments in wrestling, but it won't. You see, there's a strong chance that Christian is virtually chained to the ship, so if it sinks, so does he. But, if anything, he's got the ability to keep it afloat, despite the lackluster crew. In fact, he's going to need that ability more than ever. I just find it funny how Christian can go from one situation in the WWE where he's underrated to the same situation elsewhere and back to that very same situation when returning to the WWE. Some things never change....much to the chagrin of the many "peeps" and "coalition members" that support this fine athlete. Well, make room on the barge, Christian, because I'm sure they'll be more than happy to sink with you than to watch you sink on your own. Heck, they'll even help keep the boat afloat, if you like. If only Vince would see that and transfer Christian to a more stable wrestling "boat". Nah! Vince needs fans he can change, not fans that are....well....actual fans.